Sometimes, when life seems normal and I forget about the importance of the men’s right movement, I read things like this:
Most importantly, no consideration was given for my son’s rights to have his father in his life the same amount of time as before. Not three weekends per month, but every day and night and weekend. I was a very affectionate, loving and responsible father and absolutely doted over my son. I was stripped of my fathership and made a visitor in his life.
Within four months my son behaved like a stranger to me. Within six months he was actively hostile towards me. After traveling 500 miles to see him, his mother would not show up with him. His mother was alienating him from me. Within seven months I lost my job. After being a victim of a terrible wife and a corrupt court system, I realized the situation was hopeless; I walked away.
Even though she destroyed 70 percent of the relationship between my son and I, I am the one being blamed for abandonment…
I thought I could begin a new life; but seven years later the pain remains. My pain over missing my son; the pain over how my son must feel; the pain over the disadvantages that my son has. Pain over a career that has been trashed. Pain over huge child support debts that can never be repaid. Pain over a life where I will never be able to have any sort of financial security or retirement. Pain over the fact that I will never know my grandchildren. Pain over excruciating loneliness.
The worst times are weekends and holidays. Weekends and holidays were mine and my son’s best times together. When I see fathers with sons I feel an overwhelming sadness: a sadness of what has been lost; what is not; and what could have been.
Also I am permanently changed. No amount of therapy, psychotropic drugs, or a new woman and child can remove the hollowness inside me. I notice the effect when I am around people. I used to be happy and fulfilled; now I am empty and depressed, and people notice it and they don’t want to be around me. It is impossible for me to smile and I get no pleasure from anything; not even eating. I have no present and no future.
Now I don’t have a car, I don’t have a drivers license, I don’t have a girl friend, and I live in a small and shitty room. I earn a fifth of what I earned before. I have a very difficult time holding a job because of depression.
And don’t go saying “oh she must have been a bitch”, or that it’s not common. It is common. It’s everywhere. Because it’s what we expect in today’s society. Even among the “good girls”:
My wife was very religious and a virgin when we met. She never smoked a cigarette or drank alcohol in her life. She was the most family-oriented person I had ever met. I would never have thought she would have chosen divorce. And if she chose divorce, I would have thought she would have wanted a father in her son’s life. But she changed. Why did she change? I don’t know, but I think because of cultural influences.
We’re so quick to blame men, but what did he do wrong? Not make his wife happy enough? That’s apparently enough for her to receive the power to destroy his life? We like to talk about the psychological damage a woman goes through when removed from their child. What about the man?
Now I’m not saying that every girl is a terrible person, or that marriage is evil. What I’m saying is that this is the tragedy of the divorce culture that we have somehow convinced ourselves is the way to happiness (well, we’ve convinced half of the population). And by all accounts, nobody is free from it. Something has to change, and if people don’t speak out against it, nothing will.
POSTED BY TONY RAFETTO